…the problem is I can’t figure out how it works. It appears to be heat activated (not burned, but like using it to hold the handle of the pan you’re currently scrambling eggs in.) and it actually hurts a lot. It probably only hurts because I can’t figure out how to use it. Yeah, that’s it.
But in all seriousness, it hurts. So here’s how I learned I had this super power. Last night I was getting dinner ready. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. I made a lovely Pico de Gallo
, I was going to post a picture to instagram
with a “Guess What I’m Making” caption as soon as I finished getting it, and the rest of dinner, ready.
|Very, very spicy pico. Ree Drummond, I love you, but you said
3 peppers wasn’t too many. I feel lied to.
But before I could, things went badly. It was somewhere between popping into the oven some homemade pretzels
and throwing the beef dogs in a pot of water, that I realized my hand was hurting a whole bunch. It was like a burning, tingling sensation. I immediately washed my hands VERY thoroughly. It didn’t work. I then attempted to put some hand cream on, didn’t work. Hydrocortizone cream = nope. Wrapping in cold water soaked cloth = very nope (felt like an oven enclosed around my hand.) Basically nothing worked. I stuffed my face with dinner to avoid crying in front of the kids and texted fear-ridden words to Nick as fast as I could one-handed with my iPad.
Thanks to his agreement to leave the line for a movie he needed to watch for review, he came home, enlisted the help of a neighbor to take in the kids, and drove me to urgent care. I was quickly diagnosed with some sort of nerve pain as this clearly wasn’t an external issue. Walgreens filled a prescription for a nerve pain drug and some ice cream and we went home. This morning the pain was gone. Well, until I was scrambling some eggs. Then it slowly, but surely returned. I popped another capsule of the drug, but not two like the night before, because it’s a very effective sleep aid as well. Now I’m guzzling coffee and trying to avoid the 5 out of 10 pain. (Better than the ‘literally worst pain I’ve ever experience in my life’ that it was before drug.)
|Left: Very Sleepy Drug. Right: Very Sleepy, Ouchy Me.
I really hope I can figure out what my super power is soon, so I can start using it to better humanity (or at least fold clothes really fast) right away. On the other hand (pun not even close to intended) I really want it to stop hurting within a day or two so that I don’t have to meet my new PCP anytime soon.
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