May 10 2014

Four Things I’ve Learned From My Son

My son is four years old. Almost five. That means it’s been five years since I graduated high school. Almost five years since I turned down a college education to become a stay at home mom. My life has actually changed a lot in five years. I’ve been reflecting on that recently but I wanted to share something. Even though I didn’t get a degree of any magnitude yet, like my high school peers, I’ve learned a lot from the teachers I live with everyday. Children teach you just as much as you teach them. I learn a new thing every day, from both my children. So in honor of the first born, my rambunctious little man, here are four things I’ve learned from my son.

Sometimes you have to go through something hard to get to something good. Or rather, rhyming songs are hard, and dumb mostly, but the show that comes on afterwards is so great, it’s worth the wait. Abel hates the song at the beginning of Busytown Mysteries, and he hates when I sing along. But he tolerates it because he loves the show. I realize this is an over simplified lesson for the teaching, but it holds. He’s learned very young that sometimes, the end result is worth a painful beginning.

It is possible to read in the dark if your imagination is strong enough. I can’t tell you how many nights a week after bedtime orders have been issued and sheets have been tucked in that I have to go confiscate books because they’re “reading” them and not going to sleep. I don’t know how much actual reading is ever accomplished, but it’s apparently important enough to get in trouble for.

Look Mommy! I drew a pillow!

If you betray someone’s trust, you actually have to work to earn it back. And you have to acknowledge that person’s pain. Abel has seen a lot in his young life. Due to my divorce and the way he has experienced it, he’s very sensitive about people being honest and supporting of him and his emotions. Because I know this, I try to reassure him that no matter what, I’ll be there, so when a few months ago the last minutes plans were made for him to stay at dad’s a week longer than promised, I felt absolutely terrible that I couldn’t correct my promise to pick him up in two days before he left. When he got back, he seemed very upset and wouldn’t tell me why. When I got a minute free with him, I explained to him that I didn’t know, a reminder that my promise feeling like a lie is natural and okay for him to feel and then I apologized profusely. I owned my mistake, even though it wasn’t within my control. And you know what? He felt better. I didn’t even have to buy him anything. Words and actions mean more than toys and candy. Everytime.

Last but never least, my son has taught me that boys can be princesses, they can live in pink castles and play with pink tutus. Girls can drive cars with their brothers and pretend to be superhero friends. Boys can wear hello kitty underwear and girls can wear Spider-man underwear. Boys can be “the mom” during playtime. Girls can have short hair (he cut his sisters hair, I’m not even kidding) and boys can have long hair, or at least pretend (he got a new brush for his short hair for Christmas.) Boys and girls can be who they want to be, with no restriction based on their gender. This little boy knows that everyone is different, but that it shouldn’t ever limit us.

I’m so proud to be a mom to such a beautiful and talented pair of children. Thank you for keeping me busy and teaching me how to be the best mom I can be for you. Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, including those who make us moms.

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  1. Myrna Roosdett

    What a wonderful thing to do! YOU are an amazing mom with two of the MOST adorable kids on this earth! Well said and so glad you shared this!! Love you most! ;o) Mom

    1. Shelby Michalek

      Thanks Mom :) You are too of course! <3

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